I am currently 27 weeks pregnant with our second child, a baby girl due in December!

Blogging has gone to the wayside, but I still loving reading blogs, so wanted to share an update how this pregnancy is going.

I loved doing journal-style entries to document Arthur’s pregnancy, so be prepared for longer, story-style answers!

I’m breaking this up into two parts, because true to style, I did not spare any details.

TW: Previous Loss (there is another warning under the section header if you want to read the rest of the post and just skip that part)

NEGATIVE TEST, POSITIVE TEST

(Let’s just start out with the TMI, mmkay). When we were trying to get pregnant, I had an international trip scheduled. My cycle is normally long, so I worried about not getting pregnant and then missing my chance while I was away. My trip was to the Holy Land and I knew I would be visiting the actual site of Jesus’ birth, so my hope was that I would possibly find out I was pregnant on my trip, and then the baby’s due date would be in December, so I would have the whole pregnancy to anticipate Jesus’ coming along with the baby’s.

Praise God, the timing worked out for TTC, so I took one pregnancy test with me on. About mid-way through my trip, I hadn’t gotten my period, so I took the test. It was right before bed and I had just chugged a ton of water, and it came out negative. I was disappointed but also not sure if it was accurate, but I couldn’t buy another test without the people I was traveling with knowing. Every day I kept waiting for my period to come, and was confused when it kept not showing up. On the plane ride home, I was nervous to get it, but then I had a weird experience. I fell asleep and woke up still half asleep, and couldn’t move my arm. I figured it was asleep and would wake up in another minute or so. Five to ten minutes went by without being able to move it!! I have anxiety about health things, so I was concerned my body was doing weird things with no explanation! I had a little thought that it could be pregnancy-related (hormones make your body do weird stuff sometimes).

The day after I came back, I took another test and it was positive. I don’t know why the “early detection” test was negative at 13 dpo (I guess late implantation) , but it’s so cool that this baby actually was in the place of Jesus’ birth, even if I didn’t know it at the time.

FOUR PREGNANCIES

TW: Previous Loss, and way more TMI

We had actually been trying to get pregnant for about 9 months. In the fall, I had gotten pregnant around the same time I did with Arthur, and we were going to have babies exactly two years apart. My brother is 13.5 months older than me, and I always imagined having kids close together. That’s REALLY close, so the perfect age gap to me would have been 18 months to 2 years. Two years apart in school sounds ideal.

When it came down to it, it took me longer to start trying for a second kid because my body was still so worn down from Arthur, I didn’t want to stop nursing him, and I wanted to do photography for this conference without being in my first trimester. After a few months of trying, I was pregnant and still nursing Arthur. I was thrilled to have these large desires and prayers answered! I felt nauseous and tired but hosted Thanksgiving and went to 3 theme parks over the holidays!

I was having some issues keeping my hypothyroid under control without the use of medication, and unfortunately I think my functional medicine doctor failed me when she should have prescribed me medication as soon as I became pregnant, as the thyroid is crucial for fetal development. At our 8-week appointment, there was a sac but no heartbeat. The OB said it could be early, there was a 50/50 chance we still had a growing baby in there. We were so blessed by his optimism and good bedside manner, and left feeling uncertain but hopeful that God could do anything. I was feeling really sick, too, which was a good sign.

We had to wait 2 weeks and 2 days until our next appointment to see if the baby was growing or if I was miscarrying. We spent most of those 2 weeks up in Virginia visiting family for Christmas. We had looked forward to telling our siblings in person, but instead just waited. Over those days, my nausea didn’t seem so bad, and the more I thought about it, I knew my charting was right and the baby should’ve measured 8 weeks old at the ultrasound. This was a gift from the Lord to come to terms with the pregnancy not being viable.

In the meantime, I got SO SICK with a head cold (my first ever!!). My sinuses were so stopped up, I couldn’t hear anything, and I was exhausted. I felt AWFUL.

Finally, on Christmas eve, we were all dressed up ready to head out to the Christmas Eve service when I started bleeding. I had spotted a little bit a couple days earlier, but this was heavy. I told our family to go to the service without us. An hour later, I had filled a pad, and I knew I needed to go to the hospital. When I came downstairs, Whit was laying on the couch, now sick as a dog! On top, Arthur was all out of sorts. He was sick, too, and acting different than usual and super clingy. My parents came back from the service and Arthur was clinging to my dad. Arthur gagged on a snack he was eating. I was convinced all 3 of us needed to go to the hospital!

We eventually decided my mom would take me to the ER and Whit and my dad would monitor Arthur for a little while. My dad ended up taking him to my brother’s house (he was fine, I think just slightly sick and definitely sympathetic to his parents acting unusual) while Whit rested. It was confirmed that I was having a miscarriage, which was so ironic on Christmas Eve of all times. I was almost 10 weeks along. Somehow I was completely at peace, and even joyful! I was positive and had a wonderful interaction with the Christian lady who did my ultrasound. My mom and I chatted and watched The Santa Clause on tv while I coughed and dealt with the cramps and bleeding. Honestly, I felt miserable from being so over feeling sick, and the miscarriage was just another thing to deal with but not the cause of my misery.

They gave me medication to take to make sure the miscarriage was complete. If I had taken it, I would’ve had to wait up ALL night to see if it worked, and been miserable and possibly in severe pain. With Christmas the next day and still so sick, I chose to rest and trust the Lord that He was my physician and He would work it out naturally! The next morning, we were obviously feeling rough and just kind of going through the motions, but surviving. God answered my prayer and my bleeding was never frightening again, but I passed a clot that confirmed to me that my body had done what it needed to do. We felt safe flying home 3 days later and the following morning confirmed via ultrasound that everything was happening naturally, and thank God I never had to take the medicine.

If you’re unfamiliar with our story, we also had a miscarriage (unplanned pregnancy) on New Year’s Eve 2015, at 6 weeks. I wrestled with God over having more miscarriages than babies, wondered if I would be able to have another baby, and mourned having my children not be 2 years apart or less. Again, though, He was so, so kind and I felt so supported and at peace because of Christ’s strength and comfort through the whole two week wait and miscarriage, as well as the way He healed my body and allowed it work on its own naturally without needing medical interventions.

DUE DATE

So, I mentioned that God answered my prayer/idea that I might have a baby born near Christmas who has been to Jesus’s birthplace! This baby’s due date is December 13, 2023. I did not realize this until about a week ago, but I went back to my calendar and guess when our appointment was when we found out our baby was not growing as expected? December 13, 2022. I have read many people’s similar stories, and always thought that was crazy coincidence when I heard dates lining up like that, but I can’t believe that’s what God did for our story, too!

Arthur came 8 days late, so we will see when this little lady chooses to show up, but it is pretty much guaranteed she’ll be here by Christmas as I plan to schedule an induction if she doesn’t come by 41 weeks.

I am really looking forward to having a newborn at Christmastime! At first I was disappointed and not enthused about a December birthdate. I love my summer birthday, and love that Arthur is also a summer baby. I’ve always felt bad for December birthdays as they get overlooked. But I read some great things about December babies, and I think having Christmas lights, decorations, and music and movies around will be the perfect mood-booster for all those middle of the night wakings, long nursing sessions, and snuggly naps.

NICKNAME

At the 8 week ultrasound, we saw the cutest little gummy bear on the screen! Arthur looked like the Android mascot at that age, haha, but this little one looked exactly like an adorable gummy guy or girl, so we have mostly referred to her as gummy baby. It was amazing and such a relief to hear a strong heart beat and see a perfect round amniotic sac. I loved seeing (her) wiggle and watch the heart beating!!

SYMPTOMS

Ever since the beginning, this pregnancy has been so different than that of Arthur’s! With him, I felt like I was on the second day of a stomach bug for the entire first trimester – I had bloating, nausea, lack of appetite, food aversions, cramps – everything short of actually throwing up. With this baby, the first trimester was much more manageable. I had some cramping and nausea, but it would come in waves. Around noon, I would start to feel uncomfortable and need to lie down, and then again in the evening right after dinner time. I wondered if this was psychological, since those are the times of day I could lie down – at Arthur’s nap time and when Whit is home and can watch Arthur. Since I have a toddler to chase around this time, I’m so thankful these pregnancies were not reversed!!

Some symptoms I’ve had that I didn’t have with Arthur are vivid dreams and headaches. Having crazy dreams is something I’ve dealt with for most of my life, but after finishing EMDR therapy a few years ago, the nightmares and intensity of dreams has almost totally subsided. I was so bummed to start having vivid dreams again because it makes me so emotionally tired the rest of the day. They seem to have lessened in the second trimester, so hopefully they go away after birth. With the headaches, I only remember one or two times having them with Arthur, but this time I’ve needed Tylenol for them 1-2 times a week every few weeks.

IT’S A GIRL

Since my symptoms were so different than when I was pregnant with Arthur, I had strong suspicions we were having a girl. But, since we were really hoping for a girl, I didn’t let myself get my hopes up, and tried to picture what having two boys would be like. We have always been pretty sure we want 2 kids, and I could imagine having 2 girls or a boy and a girl, but not only boys.

The morning of the anatomy ultrasound, I asked Arthur, again, whether he thought it was a baby girl or a baby boy. He had just started really talking, and every time I asked him before he just said “Baby!” Well, that morning he said very clearly, “Baby gurl!” Our ultrasound tech asked us if we had a guess, and we told her our son guessed girl so we’ll see if he’s right… and he was!! I couldn’t believe it! We both really wanted a girl, but figured we would end up being the people that had only boys, because we’re laid back and could go with it but also because it would be chaotic and we’re very calm people. I asked the tech if there was any chance she could be wrong and she was like, nope, I can see everything down there!

We met my parents that night at the zoo and told them there. After our appointment I quickly ran into Target and found a pink tank top, and dressed Whit and Arthur in the closest thing we could find. Arthur didn’t react much when we told him – figured he was thinking, I told you so.

Since I had tried to be prepared for either gender, there were a lot of things I was looking forward to with having another boy. It’s been a little hard to wrap my head around being part of the girl mom club – it feels like a whole other world! I’m excited for girl clothes, but I also remembered how picky I am about kid’s clothing (thank you, living in Paris). I’ll have to learn a whole new style of interacting with a daughter. I’m nervous about having a child like me whom I’ll butt heads with. We very possibly won’t use the boy names we had in mind or Arthur’s adorable wardrobe.

But, if we want to stop at 2, it will be easy to feel like our family is complete. I feel so blessed we’ll have one of each! A lot of people don’t get that experience. I’m excited to have a mother-daughter relationship and friendship. And I’m grateful we’ll get to learn both sides of boy and girl worlds! I have an older brother so the sibling relationship will feel natural to me. And I’m excited for how sweet and precious and pretty she’ll be (versus handsome!).