Baby Daphne is here!! I had a feeling she would come earlier than her brother, and my suspicion was that she would come the weekend between 40 and 41 weeks – and she did (40 weeks + 3 days)! I had really wanted to get everything done on my pre-baby list AND have a couple days to just rest and relax – and I did! 

Daphne Hazel Jackson arrived on December 16 at 11:13am weighing 7 lbs 15 oz and measuring 20.5 in long.

Per my usual fashion, I’m going to share her birth story and not spare any details! Get settled in and here we go!

At my 40 week appointment, the NST and ultrasound looked good, and I got the go ahead to stay pregnant for another week. I got a membrane sweep and was 1-2 cm dilated, 50% effaced, very soft, and -3 station. Nothing much happened the rest of the day except for feeling waaay more uncomfortable. We took a long family walk around Lake Eola to see the Christmas lights, and I felt terrible pelvic (and bladder!) pain because the day before Daphne had switched to my left side after being stuck in my right hip for the past 2 months. 

The next day, we took another family walk so I could try curb walking – our curbs are like 2-3 times taller than regular curbs so it was very uncomfortable haha but probably effective, and then came back home and did the first two parts of the miles circuit. A couple hours later I noticed my usual Braxton hicks contractions felt a little stronger and maybe coming more consistently but tried to ignore them. As I was getting ready for bed, I noted they did seem pretty consistent. I had an intuition so I gathered a few more things for the hospital bag and told Whit he shouldn’t stay up too late, just in case. I started timing them around midnight and they were coming about 6 min apart. 

I tried to sleep but had too much adrenaline. I continued timing them and they kept coming closer together and getting slightly stronger over the next few hours. It was getting more uncomfortable to lay down, and based on my previous labor it seemed like things would pick up soon. I decided to move to the shower to labor while things progressed. I figured we’d probably have a baby around 8-10am based on how long my doctor said I’d probably be in labor compared to my first birth, which was 17 hours long. I spent a lot of mental energy trying to calculate how I was progressing and how much time my doula and my parents would need to get to our house based on when I thought we’d leave for the hospital. 

In the shower I was listening to music and dancing and getting really excited. I felt thankful that she was coming on her own and we’d get to meet her soon. I was grateful that labor didn’t wake me in the middle of the night (something I feared, since I went into labor during the day with Arthur), and felt like things were progressing similarly to my labor with Arthur, which gave me confidence. I generally just felt joyful!

Contractions were a bit more painful and coming every couple minutes so I asked Whit to make me a protein shake and start getting ready to go. Then, I started feeling overheated and tired from dancing in the shower so I decided to get out and try something else. Around then, my doula Jen and my parents showed up, but since I was still managing well, everyone kind of sat around and chatted while I rolled on the yoga ball. The contractions were still manageable but more distracting, and my doula was timing them every 2-3 minutes apart.

By that point I was tired from the shower and all in my mind about how my progress was coming along, and now feeling pressure from people sitting around watching me and waiting for something to happen. I decided I should try to rest some, as well as get back in my mental state and go be in my own space for a bit. I remembered that with Arthur’s labor, I was mostly on my own in a quiet house and I did great with that. So I went back to my dark bedroom and laid down in bed to do my Hypnobirthing meditation while Whit gently scratched my back. I ended up falling asleep for about an hour. My contractions slowed down, but I was feeling much more relaxed. 

The sun was coming up and I was bummed we weren’t at the hospital having the baby, but it made sense that my mind was too turned on from trying to predict the future, worrying about disturbing people in the night, and feeling like I was letting them down by not progressing “on schedule.” We decided to stay in bed until Arthur woke up and we could send him with my parents, and figured things would pick back up after they left and I didn’t have to worry about that piece of the puzzle any longer.

Unfortunately the contractions stayed fizzled out. We sent our doula home after a couple hours and tried to rest and stay distracted all day. It was SO hard to do either because if I rested, they picked up in intensity so it was too uncomfortable to lie down, and if I did other things they came closer together so it seemed like we were close to needing to leave for the hospital. 

It really sucked because I had a day of prodromal labor with Arthur, but the contractions never got very painful, just timable and closer together. This time the contractions were almost to the point of needing to breathe through them. They were distracting and very uncomfortable. 

By the end of the day and many false alarms, I got so discouraged. I had been so positive at the beginning of labor, then felt like I let everyone down. I was disappointed that second labors are usually quicker than the first but this definitely wasn’t going to be. And I was afraid that if this kept up, I would be too tired to make it through delivery without an epidural. 

I took a bath and drank a little bit of wine to calm down and called my mom and my previous doula for a pep talk. She and my doula recommended taking a Tylenol PM and trying to sleep as much as I could. I didn’t even put on the Hypnobirthing track because I wanted to just take my mind off labor completely.

I turned on the thunderstorm setting on our sound machine and was surprised my body had let me sleep when I woke up a few hours later. From about 2:30-5am I had medium painful contractions every 20ish minutes. I rolled over from side to side after each one because of the discomfort, but amazingly my body was letting me rest in between them. 

They slowly got more difficult as the night went on and I had to start breathing through them. I focused on the sounds of the thunderstorm and used my birth affirmations, telling myself: I relax through every contraction, each strong sensation brings me closer to my baby, baby Daphne will be here soon, I release my body and my baby to God’s loving care, etc. 

I wanted to sleep as long as my body would let me, but around 5am they seemed to be reaching another level, so I decided to try to stay in bed until 6 or 7 if I could. I noticed they were coming every 12 or so minutes now, and more painful, but I was still dozing off in between each one. 

At 7am I decided they were strong and frequent enough that I ought to get out of bed knowing that active labor was probably close. I got dressed and woke Whit up, telling him he should help me get ready for the hospital. 

Once out of bed, the contractions quickly progressed. We ate breakfast and got things ready to leave, and during contractions I swayed and leaned on two pillows on the kitchen counter. I read my scripture card “He keeps Him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him,” and turned on my favorite worship songs (Promises, Firm Foundation, and Everlasting God). 

After battling through my emotions and control over labor the previous day, I surrendered my fears over to God and praised Him for listening to my prayers that I wouldn’t be stuck in the early labor pattern much longer. I knew we were going to have a baby soon!!

Around 7:45 I started timing contractions as they were increasingly difficult to get through. They were coming every 3-4 minutes, so we didn’t waste time finishing up what was necessary before leaving. I started to moan through one, and quickly texted our doula Jen to meet us at the hospital. 

Since I was already needing Whit to rub my shoulders and coach me through each contraction, I decided to text my mom to see if she could coach me on the car ride. Best decision ever!!!!! My mom has always been great at talking me through hard things – she’s a health coach, spiritual warrior, and positivity is one of her greatest strengths. There’s also science behind your mother’s voice being one of the most soothing sounds! She ended up doing so great, and we were stuck in triage for a while before our doula was allowed to meet us, so she ended up staying on the phone with me through delivery! Throughout labor I was shocked at how calm and relaxed I felt, and I attribute so much of that to my mom’s coaching, as well as spending the whole night practicing my relaxation and birth affirmations!

Before getting in the car I practiced a couple of contractions on my own to stay in a good headspace. It was weird getting in the car in the daylight! With Arthur we headed out in the wee hours of the night, and I blocked everything out around me. This labor was so different as I stayed alert and was looking around and talking the whole time. 

In the car, my contractions felt like they were spacing out again. I had a few that started and then never developed. I worried a little bit that I wouldn’t be very dilated when we got to the hospital, but I knew it was still the right choice to go, and I would appreciate the time getting settled into a room before things got a lot harder. 

When we got to the hospital I leaned over my pillows on the back of a wheelchair and my mom coached me while Whit got us checked in. I had a few more contractions before we got to the triage room, but I was still aware and managing them okay.

It was about 9:30 when we got into a triage room. I was shocked and so relieved to hear I was already 7cm dilated and 100% effaced (I was also at station 0, but I don’t think they told me that at the time)! I was fully expecting to be only 5cm and have a long way to go. I was so grateful that the contractions still didn’t feel too bad and I had plenty of energy. 

I got onto the bed and leaned over the back on my pillows, which felt good and was also one of the positions I hoped to use. There were a few times my mom didn’t hear me say I was starting a contraction and I didn’t have coaching at the beginning, and it’s CRAZY how much worse I felt during those contractions when I was stressed compared to ones that started when my body was already relaxed and I was mentally prepared. 

I continued to have a few false starts where I thought a contraction was starting but it didn’t develop. When I had one of those, my mom couldn’t tell the difference so I still concentrated on her voice and relaxed my body, and whenever that happened, the real contraction that followed was so much less painful than I could have imagined. The second half of those contractions were not too bad and I would start to perk up before it ended. 

Because I was laboring so well and still aware, I was able to converse a little in between, and remembered to ask for sips of water, reposition my pillows, and have Whit set up a portable fan to cool my face. I even ate half a muffin! A big part of my birth plan was to keep up my strength and energy by staying well hydrated, I am so thankful I was able to do so!! Praise God.

I met the midwife, who was so calm, but she couldn’t do much to help in the tiny triage room. I was getting anxious about getting a room but they kept saying I was at the top of the list – unless someone walks in with a baby’s head crowning, lol. They eventually grabbed me a second pillow and the midwife pushed on my tailbone which both helped. 

About 45 minutes after getting to triage, I started feeling pushy during a contraction and they got worried we wouldn’t make it upstairs. Right after that we finally got to move up to a room. I moved onto the bed in the same position I was in, leaning over the back of the bed. It was a little bit of a rocky adjustment as a nurse came to take my blood pressure and someone else was trying to adjust my monitors in the middle of a contraction. I was saying please wait, please wait, please wait and the dang nurse kept trying to put the stupid cuff on my arm! I turned towards her and yelled stop! 

My doula also finally met up with us and immediately started applying counter pressure and doing hip squeezes, which did NOT feel good. I remember her saying oh no that’s what I do best! I felt kinda bad but also couldn’t help it, of course. It took a few iterations to get people helping me in the way I wanted. I remembered with my previous birth it felt really good to have the nurse apply pressure to my belly during a contraction, so I grabbed my doula’s hand and pressed it hard against my belly. That worked well for me and she was glad to feel useful! 

The nurse who had annoyed me continued to get on my nerves. She kept saying “okay mami” in a loud voice (versus using a low voice and not speaking unless it would help me) and it just seemed like she couldn’t care less about me or my preferences and just had a blasé attitude, so I turned to my doula and asked if I could get a new nurse. It’s funny to me that the nurse’s response was, “You want a new nurse? Okay!” Like she was glad to get out of there too. I definitely made the right decision advocating for myself and not just trying to deal with it! 

Apparently my water broke not too long after we got to the room. I felt a gush of water come out and thought it was a ton of pee. (Can any other moms confirm that’s what it felt like for you? My water never broke with Arthur until he was born!)

I tried to keep my knees wide and wiggle my hips during contractions, though it was hard to find much movement. My mom was doing great coaching me and honestly got better and better as time went on! So amazing since she’s not a doula, haha! She would say something encouraging like that was a great one, or there’s one you’ll never have to go again and I would smile in agreement and tell myself or say out loud, it’s almost time to meet baby Daphne!! I felt so uplifted and honestly the pain never really increased any more. 

Not too long after, I started getting uncomfortable and my body wanted to push. Since my last birth I was so curious about “laboring down” and “breathing the baby out,” and I was really praying to not have to push very long. (I pushed with Arthur for 2.5 hours!) I really wanted to listen to my body and not push until she was descending the birth canal. So the first few contractions that my body wanted to push, I kind of rose up vertically and breathed out as much as I could, rather than leaning into or forcing it. 

I asked the midwife to check me so I could see if it was time! Sure enough I was 10cm! But I thought she said I was station -1 (I didn’t hear that I was 0 in triage. Jen told me I should sink and bear down but I told her I wanted to wait until my body was ready. She told me I was at station +1, and I was so happy I could already go ahead and push! 

The urge to push during a contraction is the most uncomfortable feeling!! My body wanted to move and twist in all kinds of ways, and it felt somewhat satisfying to squat and bear down but also hurt so much so I kept wanting to fight it. I was so focused on staying relaxed and breathing slowly, so when I remembered I didn’t have to relax through the contractions anymore I was so glad that I could grab Whit’s hands hard and yell if I needed to. My midwife asked if she could apply a warm compress to push against and it felt sooo good to feel some counter pressure and warmth there, loved that.

My team was so encouraging, telling me I was doing great and pushing correctly. I think I only pushed through about 8-10 contractions in all. I listened to my body through all of them, rested when I needed to, breathed out deeply but also yelled when I needed to, and panted to catch my breath in between. 

Before long I felt Daphne’s head move into the birth canal which is a very motivating feeling!! I pushed hard and felt her head go out but then go back in. After the next push I could feel her head right there, so I reached down and touched it! That made me so happy and gave me what I needed to get to the finish line. My mom was asking is she here, is she here?? I told her I just touched her head! Whit really wanted to see her head too, but since it went back in between contractions and I needed to squeeze his hands during, he didn’t get a chance. 

Next thing I knew, I pushed and she was crowning and boy did I feel the ring of fire!! It hurt so much I was crying but I knew I was going to push her out so soon. I puffed out breaths fast (like blowing out a birthday candle) and then roared until I felt her head pop out!! Another push to get the rest of her body out and she was here! 

I hadn’t turned from my initial position, so I gave birth to her squatting on the bed, just like I wanted!! My team helped me roll over and untangle the cord (it was wrapped around her twice !!), and then placed Daphne on my chest! She was all purple and puffy. The first thing I noticed as she was coming toward me was a super long thumb nail!! Ha! She wasn’t crying but seemed fine, so I wasn’t too worried as the team patted her and suctioned her mouth, and just rubbed her back until she let out a big cry after not too long. My dad actually recorded her cry from my mom’s speakerphone, and shared it with Whit’s parents! 

She was so different from Arthur, who came out fully red and crying at the top of his lungs, and her face was so round and swollen, but we were so happy to meet her and be DONE with the whole process!!! I was so so so thankful that I already had my baby and was done and not in that miserable long early labor anymore!!! I was just so thankful that God listened and I didn’t have to do that anymore. 

I couldn’t believe that I was alert through everything, or that the contractions never felt unbearable. I didn’t even remember hitting transition, which was so awful my first birth. I just felt so peaceful and even happy during so many of the contractions and in between was able to rest and drink plenty of water. I’m so thankful I got to give birth in a vertical position like I wanted, and that I didn’t have to push for very long – one-FIFTH as long as I pushed with Arthur !!!! 

I did still end with a second degree tear, but thank God this time the lidocaine worked and getting stitched up wasn’t too bad. Somehow it hasn’t bothered me at all, I haven’t taken any pain medication for it and haven’t really needed to use the ice pads or even all the Tucks and witch hazel. Because I never pushed on my back, I didn’t have tailbone pain after birth either – what a blessing!! After Arthur’s birth I was so swollen from pushing so long, and only had labial tears but everything down there was so uncomfortable for weeks. 

Recovery has been so different this time, especially since I had gotten good rest the night before, eaten breakfast, and stayed hydrated the whole time. I did get the shakes again right after birth, but eating snacks and drinking helped it go away pretty promptly!

Jen helped me get a good latch and Daphne nursed for almost an hour during that golden hour! That really helped her get off to a great start. When the pediatricians came in, they were oohing and ahhing over how perfect she was, and couldn’t get over that her head wasn’t malformed at all! They were like what position did you give birth in!? and said she has a C-section head! It’s amazing how much better it was to give birth in a natural position versus the now common medical way.

We weren’t able to move up to a room for over 3 hours, and were anxious to get settled in, take advantage of Daphne’s first big stretch of sleep, and order a huge lunch, but Jen stayed with us and held the baby so we could both rest for a while.

Again, recovery has been 100 times faster/easier this time around and I’m so grateful for God’s provision, a fast labor and delivery once active labor started, and all my birth plan wishes granted!! Daphne is the best baby, hardly cries, sleeps a lot but eats great so we don’t feel too stressed when she sleeps. The first day or two I was so thrown off because she’s so different from Arthur, but then I realized.. she’s EASIER! So now I’m soaking that up!! Ha! 

My parents brought Arthur to the hospital to visit that night. He immediately walked in, lit up with a big smile, and said “Baby!” and then took off his jacket and shoes to climb up on the bed to snuggle mama. He was so much sweeter than I would’ve expected (most of my pregnancy we would talk about baby sister and he would say “no baby!” haha). He and Daphne exchanged gifts, a good idea I had heard about, which he seemed to like. Then he took the bulb syringe and started banging it on the bassinet saying “Arthur working on the baby bed” hahaha.

We got discharged 36 hours after delivery – not something I thought I would ever want to do, as I actually really enjoy the magic and newness of the hospital stay. But Daphne is a really sleepy baby and showed signs of getting plenty to eat, so we figured we could get settled in at home and enjoy a big stretch of sleep without any interruptions. My parents kept Arthur a couple more nights after that, bringing him over in the evenings to see us and get acquainted with Daphne but continue to give us some space to rest and recover. Whit picked him up today so as of tonight we are beginning our life together as a family of four! It’s sooo great, I can’t express how full I feel having two kids. Such a blessing.

Praise the Lord 🩷🩷