Was something off with the rest of the world tonight, or was it just us?

Before we made it a tenth of a mile from our office, Whit pulled into the Giant parking lot and announced that (I wasn’t just returning my Redbox; he was parking and) he was going to buy some wine.

Ooh how great! – I thought, since I had just finished reading my French book about wine (not just wine…. but she talks about wine a lot). We can pick out wine together! “I actually was wanting to pick out some wine since I just finished my book. {I almost never buy or drink wine.} Can I help you pick some out??” Romantically thinking he would be enthralled with my suggestion to join him to do something that he enjoys, but I rarely participate in.

“Sure, you help me, but it’s coming out of my personal spending money, so I might veto your suggestions because I want to get a red wine.”

Dang it, I thought this would be an easy sell. “Oh, really?? I thought we could pick some out together. Okay then, I understand.”

“Well, we can pick some out together.”

“No, it’s not picking it out together if you have ultimate veto power. So, your answer is no. That’s okay. But I can help you look, and give you suggestions.”

UGH! This little disagreement slash minor miscommunication was one of about SEVEN we went on to have this evening.

Do you ever have one of those nights?? Where everything is just off? It’s like someone took the normal world you live in, and twisted it on its side just about 3 degrees one way, so everything appears normal, but just doesn’t function quite right.

It’s been quite some time since Whit and I have had a miscommunication, or rather, several miscommunications, or one bigger one where we just can’t seem to get on the same page.

We agreed to drink our white wine that we bought in New Zealand together tonight, but Whit was still going to buy a red. He thought we would just cook our steak a different night, I thought we could do both at the same time (drink NZ wine and eat steak). I didn’t realize that he would only drink red with the steak, and he thought it didn’t matter which night we cooked our steak or drank the white.

I would be fine with getting no wine if we could just buy some coke that I could mix with his whiskey, which we had (I thought) agreed to do awhile ago. He said I could NOT mix his Johnnie Walker with coke. I thought he said he wouldn’t mind sharing, even though he had bought it with his own money. He reiterated that he would share… but only if I drank it straight. (I would never do that, so….) what??! We finally brought to light that I was confusing Johnnie Walker (not to be mixed) with Jack Daniels (a great mixer).

Again, and again, and again.

We ended up drinking the New Zealand wine, and agreeing to not cook the steak or go out to dinner, but just to eat pasta at home. Funnily enough, when we got home there was a big box sitting on our doorstep with pasta I had just ordered YESTERDAY from Jovial Foods. Perfect! I didn’t want to try anymore after we settled in and we struggled through cooking dinner, so we ate in front of the TV {Friends, obvi}. Not before going through another disagreement, this time about something I had spoken unwisely about (but am still not sure exactly what I think about, or which one of us is right) at work today.

Afterwards I put my head in the pillow on the couch and just prayed. I need Jesus SO badly. I can so easily go for stretches of time, however, when I think I don’t. Life is hard, and whenever it gets the slightest bit hard, I start to fail, miserably. Yesterday I dumped my entire lunch on the office kitchen floor, not before burning my arm (awkwardly in the elbow pit) from the scalding hot soup and getting chicken and tomatoes all over my scarf. Life in February, then, is even harder. Morning after morning after morning I struggle to go out of the house in the morning, my body frigidly trying to keep out the cold, already uncomfortable from the soreness and tiredness I feel every morning for the first full hour or two after getting out of bed. There’s no Vitamin D to be obtained from the sunshine, and nothing for my body to actively engage in for exercise (like swimming, walking outside) unless I intentionally commit to it.

It just gets tiring sometimes, and I need to take a break – a step back to ask for help from the One who made me, sustains me, and knows what every part of my every day looks like. His grace is sufficient, and His mercies are new every day.