When You Feel Like the Only One

Just things I was thinking about…

Being 28, married for six years, and not yet in the stage of having kids is isolating.

It’s fantastic that my friends have or are having children. But since my husband and I aren’t trying to be in that stage yet, I feel alone.

I feel disconnected from my friends, because they want different things than I do, or are in a different season of life.

I’m saying this because I haven’t heard people talk about this experience – of being married for a decent length of time but still not actively trying to have kids. Of course people talk about being single and wanting to have kids, but not being married yet. Or wanting kids but you feel like the only one of your friends who doesn’t have them yet. Or even being single and not wanting to have kids. But being married for awhile and still not wanting to be pregnant yet when it seems like all of your friends are?

So, this is just me saying, this feeling exists. That you wish your friends felt the same way as you, but they’re in a different place, so you feel left out.

I know that I should be content, because our lives are going the way we planned them, according to God’s leading in our lives. We are exactly within His will for us, and this stage likely won’t last for long. But right now I feel like the only one, not racing towards parenthood. In the words of Jack Johnson, “Slow down everyone, you’re moving too fast.” So if you feel the same way, know that you aren’t the only one.

2 thoughts on “When You Feel Like the Only One

  1. Cynthia Thomas says:

    I know this feeling too. We were married 8.5 years when Blaine was born. The years when Paul was in seminary felt a lot like this. One thing we did that really helped was to seek out new friends who didn’t have kids yet. Most had been married a lot shorter time than us but their lifestyles were more similar to ours than our friends with kids, and really helped us not feel so alone & weird. Anyway, just wanted to affirm you & your choice to wait & follow God’s lead. 😆


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